I’ve got 99 problems.

“Wiggy” is my new word. Spread it around. Use it in every sentence. “Man, that’s wiggy”. A buddy of mine, Ed, likes to combine it with his magnificent French skills. “Voulez voulez voulez-vous wiggy”. Ed asked me to stick my fingers in a Moulinex food processor. I’ve never heard of Moulinex.

Voulez voulez voulez-vous Moulinex.

Apparently, it is a French appliance company. They use them to make crepes and escargot. Crepes. Damn. This limited format prevents me from inserting the proper “circonflex” accent over the ‘e’. The circonflex is the little upside-down ‘v’ doohickee that is commonly referred to as a “carrot top”. Yet I digress.

Sticking escargot in a food processor does not sound all that appealing. Escargot smoothie is not necessarily something that I would consider. Food processors were not intended for everything.

Voulez-voulez-voulez-vous escargot.

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