>…sucks major ass.
I think that 60% of the most unpleasant weather elements are converging outside my window. Ordinarily I wouldn’t mind so much. But considering that:
a) Due to aforementioned weather I was not able to have my usual 1.5 mile stroll home;
b) that even though I did get to take the bus I still had to walk 5 blocks home from 19th and Thomas in which my umbrella flipped inside-out twice due to to one of the 60% of undesirable weather elements. I could never live in Chicago.
Glad I wore my waterproof hiking boots today…cuz…damn. I think even the puddles are pissed off.
Because I am trying to channel some negative energy I’ve been dealing with into positive efforts, I will now resurrect some creativity in an attempt to achieve this goal. I invite all the criticism you can muster.
Thus I bring you the:
Ode…to the Shit-Nasty Weather
By Jennifer Lankenau
‘Tis true this I believe.
In summertime, a mid-June storm
Can be a nice reprieve.
The wind can on occasion be
a menace, to be sure.
But there are times, when skies are blue
A breeze I can endure.
The snow, well, ’tis a lovely thing…
Streets blanketed in white.
The way the trees and grass and leaves
Will glisten in the light.
The rain and wind together, well…
An evil two they make.
Umbrella, hood, nor handkerchief
Will save you from their wake.
When the rain and snow collide…
For when combined, the cold, the wet…
Freeze toes within your shoes.
The snow and wind when subtly wed
Can add a wintry touch.
But when the two collide with force…
A blizzard…not so much.
Standalone, these three, these few,
Are fine when not en masse…
Yet merge them all, and you will find
Combined, they quite suck ass.
Apologies for the shitty resolution. It’s my phone.
At any rate, we are now permitted up the stairs…just…very strategically…
Green tape means NO!
You’d do well to remember this.
Voulez-voulez-vous do not step here.