I’m glad I located my noise-canceling headphones. Because some days you simply feel like ignoring the world, ya know?
Notice: reading xkcd on your phone while walking home from the drugstore may result in a sudden and unexpected encounter with gravity/sidewalk, thus resulting in a backtrack to aforementioned drugstore for Band-Aids because you inadvertently knocked your last box into the toilet when looking for safety pins while getting ready for that thing last week.
…of course posting this while walking home from getting the Band-Aids isn’t altogether too bright, either.
Yes, I have a celebrity crush on Tom Brokaw. So?
Tip: be good to your kidneys. They’re vengeful little bastards. They hold grudges. Oftentimes in unison.
Photos aren’t loading on my news feed. On my desktop or my phone. I must have missed the memo where they informed us that Facebook was infallible.
Here is your Today’s Scorpio Horoscope:
It may be hard to believe something impossible, but try to do so — especially if it’s right in front of your eyes. The phrase ‘too good to be true’ was invented by killjoys, anyway.
I have a feeling why Arthur Dent could never get the hang of Thursdays. Thursday just f*cks with you. It’s like it’s saying, “Hey bitches. I’m THURSDAY. You know what that means? It’s SOOO not Friday. And you just gotta sit there and deal with me. You just gotta bend over and take it. HA! How ya like that? That’s right! Say my name! THURSDAY! MUAHAHAHA!!!”
Yeah. I get ya, Arthur.
God really needs to stop hogging all the Zone 7 parking in my neighborhood. #stjamescathedral
“Mr. Beeblebrox, sir,” said the insect in awed wonder, “you’re so weird you should be in movies.”
“Yeah,” said Zaphod patting the thing on a glittering pink wing, “and you, baby, should be in real life.”
Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est.
…wondering if good things really *do* come in threes.
“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
— Douglas Adams
Niff’s Law #3: Yelling at your art accomplishes *nothing*.
(aside from making you look completely *mad* in a bar).
*Only uses *yellow* Post-its. Neon just doesn’t fly.
Great things are afoot. Both of them. (Meaning great things *and* feet.)
*is a two-cube kind of gal.
You can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many Sharpies.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
Satsumas make sunny days double-plus sunny. -ish. (Forgot about my -ish Manifesto).
Just to be obnoxious and vague, I’m going to add “-ish” to as many words as possible today.
As in, “this woman on the bus is being loud-ish while on her cell phone”.
Actually, screw that. She IS bloody loud. I’m-a smack her in the head kinda hard-ish. Bawwww.
“Bawwww” is a cuteness descriptor, as in, “That’s so BAWWWWWW! Like, Choco-Cat BAWWWWW!!!!”
Ok, now anyone wanna tell me what the HELL that means??
Ok, so BAWWWWW + Choco-Cat = BAWWWWWW, therefore BAWWWWW + Choco-Cat = BAWWWWW? Is this the reflexive property of wtf?
OR, BAWWWW = π(Choco-Cat)^2
Or, Choco-Cat Cream π
If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: one comes before two comes before 60 comes after 12 comes before six trillion comes after 504. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal.
Voulez-voulez-vous sometimes you must go a long distance out of the way in order to return a short distance correctly.