Niff.dot: The Metro Tales, Part I

I commute daily to work via public transit. Whereas this may be an unimaginable scenario for some, I enjoy the opportunities it affords:  I can listen to music/podcasts, read, catch up on email, or, as is most often the case, pass judgement on other passengers while making mental notes to bring up in conversations later.  Because people are fucking hilarious.

Consider the following:

Waiting for the bus at the Bellevue transit center.
There are pay phones. One of which keeps ringing.
I answer it. Because I love a chance to mess with people.
– “Hello, Bellevue Transit Center.”
– “Huh?”
– “You, my friend, are calling a pay phone at the Bellevue Transit Center. Stop it. ”
– “Who is this?”

(It is at this moment I notice an older man in a suit making a valiant attempt to hand bibles out to sinners during their commute. He has been eyeing me cautiously ever since he saw me answer the phone.  I have an idea.)

– “This is Jesus.”
– “Whoah, what?”
– “Jesus. You know. As in the son of god. Wanna hear a parable?”
– “But…Jesus is a dude!”
– “Sexist!!” I hung up.

He didn’t call back.

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